Cougar or Kitten?

So the current trend seems to be for women to date younger men. Guys like that whole "cougar" image when they date an older, experienced woman and those same women like the boost of self esteem & excitement a younger man can provide. Young guys can be really impressed with our knowledge and the old double standard where a woman loses points for sexual experience is wiped away- in fact, it becomes an asset. I once knew a guy named Maurino- a hot young college guy who was 12 yrs younger than me. So hot that he was model material. He was Greek for chrissake. I was at a time in my life when I was fresh out of a long relationship, had relocated to a different state and I admit, he was exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Someone young, fun and handsome to rebound with- friggin’ perfect! However, it turned stale like old toast really fast. It was tough to relate to someone when my day consisted of working 9-6 in a hectic, demanding wall-street paced office and he was going to class with 20-somethings and playing basketball every day. I would say to people "can’t hang out tonite, seeing young guy tonite after his basketball game" and they would beg for a chance to meet his friends. My sister and her friends saw him at the gym and high-fived me when they realized he was my latest conquest. Most of my friends were in long relationships or married- and the idea of me dating someone out of my age group really intrigued them. People even compared me to Demi Moore at the time- but we all know how well her relationship ended. She's probably still doing whippets while en route to her plastic surgeon's office.  After awhile, the shallowness of it all overshadowed the initial excitement and when he moved back home to Virginia after college, neither of us kept in touch. I guess we both knew inside that it had run it’s course and had fun while it lasted. You can only play so much minigolf…

Older guys are a whole different ballgame! Older guys have "been there", "done that"- where younger guys "will do that someday". With older guys you get more of the full package in my opinion- and who doesn’t want the full package?! The downfall is the age difference can backfire if the older person advises too much on life. Being irresponsible (hey, I’m a Saggitarius- it’s not my fault!), the last thing you want to hear is a reminder on what you should be doing or how to do it. If an older guy conjures up images of your dad reminding you to be responsible- the younger woman will rebel and do the exact opposite or completely lose interest. However, unlike young guys- older guys tend to have their lives more "together". You go into their bathrooms and find nice towels vs a dirty beach towel hanging up. They actually have more groceries in their fridge than beer.  They know how to hold a job so you aren’t always counseling them like you would with a young guy who has no idea what they want in life (aside from the best basketball score in tonite’s game of course). Older guys know cool stuff you never heard of- older music, films, secret outdoor spots he’s found and wants to share with you - anything to broaden your own horizons. Let’s face it, young guys are exhausting- you can only teach someone so much without feeling like their mother or older sister. Older guys have a career established already and other women they have been with have taught them how NOT to treat women. They’ve already learned the hard way what happens when you blow a woman off. Or not to forget a woman’s pet’s birthday. If they say they are free saturday, they are free Saturday- no ifs ands or buts about it.  Women like the chivalry that older men often show and they like the fact that older men tend to have more respect for them.  Women like men who know how to be men. He’s not out on the prowl at bars every nite looking for a fresh piece, he just wants to hang with you, the hot younger woman he’s been thinking of all day. Some people lose their lust for life at a certain age but if you’re seeing an older guy who has still "got it", you know in another 20 yrs, he will still be enjoying life as much as you are- time does not slow him down. Older guys also usually have had their kids by now- kids who are old enough that they have kids of their own… leaving plenty of time for  YOU. And last but certainly not least... older guys are the best in the sack- because they have done it all and mastered their skills.

Things That Drive Me Nuts (AKA Nice Girls Can Go Postal Too)

People that constantly complain…

You know what? A lot of people these days are overworked, underpaid, tired- too many things to list. The only person that can change your life is yourself… and people are tired of you bitching.    Complaining endlessly also makes you sound like an ungrateful moron.  You have your health, people who love you despite yourself- think about that.   Do something positive to change your life… go to the gym, send out some resumes, end your miserable relationship- whatever it takes. Life is too short to settle.

Bad drivers…

Ok, I’m born and raised in Boston- need I say more?! My grandfather was a Boston cop- in the rough section… for 30 yrs. And HE taught me how to drive. Well, I DID take some half-assed ghetto driving class which saved my parents more money on my insurance than the class cost… but my grandfather was the man who has definitely saved my life more than once with the defensive tips he taught me. In Hawaii, people actually stop and allow others to pass on one lane bridges- talk about island courtesy. People live life slower, people are nicer and after a few days there, I find I hate rushing about too. Of course, it’s all good when you’re in Kauia – but when I get back to Boston, I have no choice but to quickly readjust. Those people that cut you off, only to drive like a stoned snail make me absolutely insane. Yes, I admit, I DO drive a bit fast and yes, maybe even aggressive- but don’t pull in front of me, slam on your brakes and throw on your right turn signal. My middle finger can’t help but go up- it has a mind of it’s own.

People that ask me "Now, why do you have a blog"?

You know, I’m a big fan of Facebook and other random internet ridiculousness that isn’t necessary for life- but whatever happened to the written word? Ok, this blog, may be internet based but it’s still ME- saying what I feel. Don’t people like to write anymore? And this whole Kindle thing…. I just can’t go there (shudder).   I’m sorry, I know it has the internet and everything but I want a REAL book in my hands at the beach. I want to greeeeze up that page with my suntan oil as I turn it. There’s something so soothing, even productive about turning the pages. I’m that chick who packs 6 books in her bag, buys 4 magazines on the way to hawaii and can’t see myself any other way. If there’s a little help yourself "library" in the laundry room of the resort, I always like to leave something for another beach addict to enjoy. "Why do I have a blog you ask?" Because it’s a more productive way to spend my time than wasting it on the Kardashians or the morons on Jersey Shore

People that Tell Me "Ohhhh, you’ll change your mind about wanting kids when you meet the right guy!"

Ok- so at 41, I still don’t know myself and what makes me happy?!" ironically enough, the same people who utter that phrase ask about my weekend exploits and their eyes seem to glaze over with envy when I mention late nite rides on a harley, long lazy days at the beach and no one to answer to but myself. If you are a parent, or want to be a parent, good for you. But a comment like that is completely condescending and close minded. I like my friends and relatives kids just fine but could never raise them full time. Even when I was a kid, I tended to hang out with the elders in the group- I didn’t even like kids when I was a kid. I love my life and don’t want to spend the next 18 years of my life with no privacy, less money than I have now (if possible) and my 2 cats are enough responsibility for me. At parties, other women my age are talking about their kids and when they hear I don’t have any and I’m single, they tend to migrate towards the new mom and break out the baby pictures. I’m thinking of putting a picture of Gino in my wallet and show them my one year old "son" the next time someone asks me about my kids. As Chelsea Handler once said, "I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every one I’ve met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell me why I want to have childen and just don’t know it yet. I DO know, because I’m me and the feelings are the ones in my head." Everyone’s different ladies, don’t try to convince me to come over to "your side". Children are a TON of work and I give big props to those who have them – but better you than me.

Birds Nests- Easter Fun for the Whole Family!

My Nana always loved Easter- it was one of those holidays we always looked forward to when we were kids.  Granted, that may have had something to do with the random $5 easter egg we competed to find- but her easter treats are something I will always remember fondly.  I make these every year- and they make me think of her and smile.

Bird's Nests

* 3 c. mini marshmallows
* 3 TBSP unsalted butter
* 1/2 tsp vanilla
* 4 c. dry chow mein noodles
* small candies, jelly beans, m & m's, etc. (i like to use colored "eggs" that look like robins eggs)

* shortening for hands (optional but better than butter- keeps mix from sticking to your hands!)

Easy Instructions

1) Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.

2) Over low heat, melt the marshmallows and butter in a large saucepan.

3) Once melted, stir in the vanilla, then the chow mein noodles.

4) Coat your hands with shortening, (butter doesn't work as well) and have some nearby for re-coating.

5) Grab a clump of noodles smaller than a tennis ball and larger than a golf ball. Form into a ball while pressed your thumbs into the middle, forming a nest and place in greased muffin tin, then refrigerate.

6) After a few hours, remove them from pan and place on parchment paper for final drying

7) Allow the nests to cool,  then fill with with the candy of your choice....

7) Sometimes, she even added a mama bird  to watch over her nest (see- those peeps DO have a use!)

In memory of Claire Dominick.....